高一生的英文作業，中翻英。這位學生要我Proof-read。
這則新聞大約是說老共送的貓熊團團圓圓其實是染成黑白花的溫州大棕熊，魚目混珠欺瞞台北。
當時，我對這則新聞毫無聽聞，乍讀之下不禁爆笑！想起排隊等著看貓熊的熱情群眾，竟然都被老共擺了一道。
上網查了查相關新聞，才發現原來是台北時報愚人節的應景惡作劇。媒體反應，我隨機選了則星洲日報的報導，附於本文後。
好笑不好笑暫且不提，我這種＂竟然相信老共是可能擺出這道把戲＂的心態，就已經不太好笑了。
文章繼續看下去，看到....
“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,”
團團圓圓一有機會就團圓
"...when the pandas, Tuan Tuan (團團) and Yuan Yuan (圓圓), began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult to breed in captivity.＂
團團圓圓清醒的時間幾乎都花在性交上。貓熊是有名的性冷感,...
“They would do it doggy-style and every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary position — when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.”
它們會用狗交姿勢。連業餘動物學家都知道貓熊喜歡用傳教士姿勢。
大驚！！
這種素材，怎麼可以給高一的學生當翻譯教材使用呢？台灣的尺度真的已經這麼開放了嗎？小高一的學生已經知道什麼是狗交姿勢，什麼是傳教士姿勢了嗎？！！！
如果你是家長，孩子拿這些來問你，你該怎麼回答呢？！
我的直接反應是，老師大概自己都沒看就要學生翻譯了。接下來想到，家長有沒有看呢？家長如何反應呢？
聽說，次日，有一位非常憤怒的家長打電話到萬芳高中找教務主任，反應英文老師派給學生這種不合尺度的作業。聽說教務主任要出國，所以這件事暫時不予處理，等他回來後再辦理。聽說，沒有其他的家長向學校反應。
本來我私下發表意見就算了，但知道學校竟然沒有把樹人當正經事，沒有派人調查研究這件事，或是要求這位老師取消這種作業，並向學生暨家長解釋，我對學校感到莫名其妙，對這整件事感到義憤填膺！
家長呢？家長怎麼沒反應呢？是我過度敏感嗎？
我把這件事說給老弟聽，他說，＂翻這種幹嘛？！＂他也非常反對這種超尺度的教材。
妹夫非常生氣，覺得如果自己的女兒得寫這樣的作業，一定告到教育部去。
老妹說，很多家長沒時間看學生的作業，所以大概不知道學生要面對這麼些有關性交姿勢的作業。
你們呢？如果是你的寶貝女兒翻這種作業問你團團圓圓在＂團圓＂什麼，或是妳的寶貝兒子問妳什麼是狗交姿勢，或是你們的姪女外甥為了傳教士姿勢而疑惑，你們怎麼反應呢？
＂國家地理雜誌＂裡有許多上空的土著，＂花花公子＂裡也有精闢的好文，性交是動物行為，當知識、字彙來學習翻譯，有何不可？
這可以算是另類的色情與藝術之爭嗎？
是的，我們不能太過天真，以為現在的小孩和我們成長時一樣閉塞，以為牽手就是緣定三生，以為接吻會生小孩。（不用笑太大聲，我成長時當然沒有這樣以為，我還沒老到那樣以為的年紀；不過很小很小的時候倒是常到這種鄉野傳奇。）
是的，現在的高中生，不少人對性觀念不陌生，甚至有些人可能已經發生過性關係。
但，為人父母的，總希望多保護自己的子女，讓他們能多過一天單純乾淨的日子，平穩度過荷爾蒙亂跳的青少年時期。
我們做家長的，只能盡力提供這樣的家庭環境給孩子；理所當然地，父母把孩子的教育託付給學校，自然也期待學校提供孩子安全單純的學習環境。
在這樣的學習環境裡，竟然出現了這種限制級的作業！
再怎麼以藝術或生物學動物學的冷靜角度來看，總是讓為人父母的膽顫心驚！
小高一需要知道這些嗎？這種＂知識＂對他們來說是必須的嗎？
如果不是在此時此刻必須學習了解的知識，難道英文老師找不到更好的英文素材給學生翻譯嗎？
時代雜誌，紐約時報，經濟人週刊，華爾街日報，華盛頓郵報，...，不勝枚舉。老師的選擇層面很廣，為什麼偏偏要小高一翻譯這種不合時宜的作業呢？！！！
期待知道這所高中處理這事件的後續........
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝英文原文，英翻中。要高一生翻這種文章，該校的英文水準真夠讚的！＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
Published on Taipei Times
http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/feat/archives/2009/04/01/2003439917
Pandemonium breaks out at Taipei Zoo
Zookeepers became suspicious of the resident giant pandas’ true pedigree after Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan began acting strangely
STAFF REPORTER
Wednesday, Apr 01, 2009, Page 13
Taiwan-China relations were dealt a severe setback yesterday when it was found that Taipei Zoo’s “pandas” are not what they seem.
Zookeepers discovered at feeding time yesterday that the two pandas are
in fact Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the
panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance.
The Taipei Zoo’s head of ursidae ex-procyonidae care, Connie Liu (劉長春),
said she became suspicious when the pandas, Tuan Tuan (團團) and Yuan
Yuan (圓圓), began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex.
Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult
to breed in captivity.
“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every
chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names,
which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “They would do it doggy-style and
every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary
position — when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos.
Children screamed and parents became irate.”
Her suspicions were confirmed yesterday when she noticed that the
animals’ new hair growth was discolored.
“Their roots began to show,” she said.
A zookeeper who asked to be identified only by his nickname A-diung
(阿忠) because he was not authorized to speak with the media said he and
his coworkers had long had their doubts, but were discouraged from
publicly voicing their concerns by management.
“Whenever the moaning from the panda enclosure gets too loud we gotta
go in there and hose ’em down with cold water,” he said. “After a
while, parts of the animals’ black-and-white patches started to turn
brown.”
He said he alerted senior zoo staff who dismissed his concerns.
“They told me pandas at the zoo in Washington, DC, get lethargic and
sometimes lie in their own feces because they can’t tolerate hot
weather, so it didn’t surprise them at all that their fur was turning
brown since Taipei’s hotter on average than Washington,” he said.
The pandas arrived in Taipei last December as a gift from the Chinese
government. The pair were first offered three years ago, but were
rejected by then-president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁). After the Chinese
Nationalist Party (KMT) candidate Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) won the
presidential election last May, the pandas were accepted, though
critics continue to decry what they see as an attempt by Beijing to
bribe Taiwanese with cute, cuddly furballs in lieu of a more meaningful
gesture of goodwill such as removing some of the 1,500 missiles China
has pointed at Taiwan.
Even the pandas’ most diehard supporters were brokenhearted yesterday.
Some angrily compared the subterfuge to last year’s contaminated milk
scandal, when melamine that had been added to watered-down milk
sickened 300,000 victims across China and led to a recall of diary
products in countries including Taiwan.
“First the milk scandal and now this. What are we going to hear next?”
said Chang I-jun (張麗君), a Taipei resident.
Chang, who operates a souvenir stand near the zoo’s entrance, added
that the scandal would affect sales of her stuffed panda toys, panda
T-shirts, panda pens and notepads, remote-controlled pandas on wheels,
caps with panda ears on top, panda fans, panda flashlights, panda mugs,
panda eyeglass cases, panda face masks, panda slippers, panda wallets
and panda purses.
“China certainly owes us an apology,” said Chang.
In a statement released yesterday evening, Chinese foreign ministry
spokesman Qin Gang (秦剛) addressed the panda scandal.
“We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish
to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We
hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare
Wenzhou brown forest bears,” Qin said.
Local media reported yesterday that, in December, traces of melamine
were found in Chinese bamboo that had been shipped to Taipei to feed
Yuan Yuan and Tuan Tuan when the pair were rejecting Taiwanese bamboo
and had each lost 3kg.
In 2007, thousands of dogs and cats in North and South America died and
became sick after Chinese companies added melamine to wheat gluten that
was used to make pet food.
The reports said blood samples have been collected from the bears and
sent to a lab at Academia Sinica where they are to be tested for
harmful adulterants.
Substances to be tested for include glycol, a chemical similar to
antifreeze which in 2007 was found in Chinese exports of cough syrup;
chloramphenicol, a powerful antibiotic that has been present in honey
from China since 1997; and the banned antibiotic nitrofuran, which is
often detected in Chinese “hairy crabs” and shrimp sold in Taiwan.
Happy April Fools' Day!
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝我是分隔線＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
星洲日報
台灣‧“團團圓圓是染色棕熊”‧報章愚人節作假被批
（台灣‧台北）台灣親綠英文報《台北時報》4月1日搞了一則低級“愚人節”假新聞，稱台北動物園的團團、圓圓其實不是熊貓。
但政治人物和台北動物園覺得這一點也不好笑。
《台北時報》週三（4月1日）在科學版報導，團團、圓圓是溫州的大棕熊，而它們身上黑白相間的顏色根本是染出來的。
報導也捏造一名動物園管理員的話說，她是在發現團團、圓圓“醒著的大部份時間都在進行交配”而起疑。
中外交部發言人被擺上台
她補充：“它們的行為製造了混亂，兒童被嚇得尖叫不止，父母也對此感到憤怒。”
假新聞也把中國外交部發言人秦剛擺上台說：“我們希望我們的台灣朋友喜歡我們贈送的2隻珍稀溫州大棕熊。”
《台北時報》這條假新聞出現在新聞版面，沒有任何標示註明。
動物園方：破壞保育教育
台北動物園發言人金仕謙批評，這個新聞一點都不好笑，它“嚴重破壞”了熊貓保育教育，他要求《台北時報》做出更正。
他說：“我們敦促報章更正這篇發出錯誤訊息的假新聞。
這個玩笑太過火了，它不僅挑戰了報章自己的專業性，也破壞了保育教育。”
他指出，新聞傳出後，台北動物園接到了來自台灣、甚至英國、日本、加拿大等地打來的投訴電話。
國民黨立委吳育升也要求此報對發表“虛假和毫無根據”的新聞作出道歉。
台北時報辯稱：沒想到那麼多人當真
但《台北時報》卻辯稱“文章裡面開玩笑其實很清楚，所以我們沒想到有那麼多人覺得是真的。”
此報在聲明中說：“愚人節玩笑顯示出媒體消費的一個要點：即讀者和觀眾在閱報和收看電視節目時，必須保持批判思維”。
這篇假新聞的網絡版結尾寫上“愚人節快樂”，至週五（4月3日）已經有2萬2000人點擊閱讀。
星洲日報／國際‧2009.04.04
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